Twelve Dating Red Flags

September 10, 2019

Unlike roses, a dozen red flags is a very unwelcome gift. Let’s break a few down so they can be noticed and avoided, or indulged if that’s your thing. 

1. They go out of their way to tell you, “I’m not crazy.” Guess what, they most likely are. A little crazy can be great but a lot crazy is not-so-great. Stick with the slightly crazy ones, you will know them by their lack of convincing you they are not crazy.

2. They do not read books or any sort of newspaper. Online newsletters do not count, digital books do count - I know, I know, this one is a bit confusing. A book is a book whether its on your kindle or bound and purchased at the ever-elusive bookstore. A newspaper should really be ingested as is and not curated by someone else to bare only its good bits directly to your eyeballs.

3. They don’t like dogs. This is different than being allergic to dogs. Not liking dogs is questionable behavior any way you look at it - dogs are our friends.

4. They tell you how much they like you and what a great couple you make…and its date number 1. Just say thank you and back away slowly, unless they are your soulmate. If they are your soulmate then stay, definitely stay.

5. They are rude to waitstaff and/or bartenders, ‘nuff said.

6. They have a touch of the “Princess Syndrome” in which they expect a certain level of spoiling and often brag about how they need to be spoiled. Each partner should spoil the other every so often, but no one needs to be spoiled. We will all keep breathing without it and it is always better when not requested.

7. They are late, more than three time in a row. The first time is understandable as a lot of primping goes into a first date. The second time means they may have misjudged their time. The third time means they stopped to get you a gift. Be sure to check for said gift. If no gift, then this third time is not excused and a two-time only rule should be recognized. People who do not appreciate other people’s time are not worth your time.

8. They are a member of the Food Police. Anyone who tells you not to eat something or not to eat as much of that something as you were about to needs to go directly to jail themselves, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

9. They don’t laugh at your jokes but LOL full out at their own. Even if humor isn’t your best quality, a little tither is polite.

10. They refuse to “try something new” - how will you ever get them in rollerblades on the boardwalk if they refuse to spend Friday night at the roller rink as practice?

11. They have an Instagram handle under a different name or one that has nothing to do with their own name. C’mon people, let’s just be smart here.

12. They don’t have ice cube trays. That’s lazy.

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